One Question: Am I that worthy of a mentor? (soalan emo)

It's been a week since KIPB (stands for Intensive Course for Newly-elected Officers) of UiTM's Red Crescent Society/RC. But (as usual) the memories still lingers and perfect for a blog entry. And it's really refreshing when I learned some cruel facts about myself whilst watching others being put in the hot seat.

The adventurous course (well, not so much for bench-warmers like me) started on Friday, where I traveled from my hometown at 12 pm. It sounded kinda late, but it wasn't considering the bus going to the campsite was due at 5 pm. The scheduled bus was then adjourned to 6 because of emm.. communication breakdown? at that time, from the excitement of meeting Mai, my friend of 6 years, I couldn't be bothered much. Our reunion was soon filled with chatters of trivial matters until the bus arrived. Joining us were Ili and Zul, and we formed the inseparable quartet throughout the camping.

Picture courtesy of Mohamad Faez Idha. From far left: Ili, me and Mai. Zul was already drowning.

Our arrival in Kem Alim was ushered by Abang Zizan. We went to our house (we stayed in a 3-room chalet, beside the boys' chalet) and the officers aka participants (or rather, kids, as I affectionately referred them) brought up their tents. The girls who arrived earlier were Kak Ejan, Kak Zuri and Salma (Abang Din's ehem ehem, quoted from the actual person). Kak Fiza and Abang Fendi arrived later that night.

Dinner was simply fabulous. In fact, the whole stay's meals were divine. Chicken dishes were present at every meal, much to everybody's delight. Later on, they had an ice-breaking session and treasure hunt where they need to solve puzzling codes in order to find hidden straws. The objective of the game was to instill teamwork, and it's an irony when the team with the least communication won the game. The night that caused eyebrows to raise ended at 2 o'clock. As for us, since Mai was present, we hit the bunks at 4.

Next day, feeling refreshed (it's all in the mind, baby), we woke up by the sound of marching command. After breakfast, the kids went to attend Abang Yus' talk on The Responsibility of a Leader. Me? I was busy breaking the ice with Puan Iadah (picture below), radiology technologist from Pusat Kesihatan cum the staff accompanist for this camping.

At 10, we went to the campsite's lake for water confidence session, along with the camp's instructor. The kids donned the life jackets and went down the beautiful yet mysterious lake. I had an unexplained doubt about the lake, so I passed the opportunity.

The scaredy cat (rightmost) pretended to be the most professional photographer.

The guys making a line, and claimed themselves as the buayas of Alim.

Girls attempted to make a circle but ended up as an oval.

The classic water confidence activity by Mai. Letting yourself fall into the water back first. Looks fun. Okay, I'll try it in a'Famosa.

There's something mesmerizing about the instructor. Looking at him running his hands through his hair is just..enticing..

The fun was cut short because it was almost lunchtime. The noon session continued with Abang Wahab's lecture on Organization Structure. Around that time, Abang Zack aka Mr. Policeman arrived with his family, her fascinating wife, Kak As, a toddler girl and a baby boy. Kak As was very friendly, maybe because she's still young. Their daughter was talkative too, and she helped us filling water balloons, for that night's war game.

That evening Abang Zack and the other boys taught the kids marching, with style. Zul told us about the obstacle route situated behind the marching ground. Me and Mai tried them out, skipping those obstacles that includes water in it.

Night session went on with Kak Zuri's talk on Meeting Organization. I also took notes along the way, especially on the guide of writing minutes. Abang Firdaus and Abang Bad later on took the stage by handling 2 games. The first game needs the kids to bring a lit candle from one end to another, avoiding the nasty enemies/facilitators from blowing it off. It was funny watching the boys using boards to produce gushing wind. Abang Zack was the successful one by knocking the candle out by one harsh blow. Mai was funny too, she was perceived as one of the kids' teammates, but ended up being pushed to the ground because of her petite size.

Another game required the kids to walk blindfolded while being instructed by their friends. We then put barriers along the way.

Wait till you open your eyes and see this funny nasyid group.

At around 11, the time we were waiting for finally came: War Game. I never been this eager during war game, maybe because this time I perfected my skill in filling balloons with water, thus raising my confidence level. I had several victims too, yayy for me. There was 3 wars, and the last 1 we won by the help of treacherous Tajudin aka Cocoroach. The kids mistook him as an ally, and he went straight to the rugged flag and snatched it with his evil laughter. And me, I only got hit by 1 balloon, and it was mine. No thanks to malicious Abang Fendi for bursting my balloon so strategically that I looked as if I peed my pants.

The fun night (again, strictly for us not the kids) was proceeded with Muhasabah Diri. Kak Zuri handled the session, and I realized the first sob to break was when Abang Fendi started hollering azan. It was so beautiful, I nearly shedding tears too. The kids then were send to their tents for 3-hour sleep.

The last day started with marching too. After breakfast, the kids were made to public speaking. This reminisced me back to the good ol' days. I never took public speaking seriously, because Iknew I was good. But how wrong I was, especially when I was bombarded by questions during my last term as RC's committee member. Although thinking about it makes me sad, but at least I can help others from experiencing the same embarrassment.

My thoughts were interrupted by Kak Ejan's request, extended to Ili for us three. She was tired from having to key-in infos throughout the week, and she wanted a fun cheer on herself. I was perplexed by this unexpected request, but we managed to pull it off. Kak Ejan again wanted us to perform the cheer in front of the canteen (?) I honestly was okay with it, because we looked cool doing it (I think so), but Ili and Mai were against it, so in the end we didn't do it. Maybe Kak Ejan will force us again in the next camping, I'm oh-so sure about it.

The kids then went for marching competition while I went to wrap several notebooks as gifts. When I went to the marching ground, I only managed to watch the last group performing. But as they said it, better late than never (what's the relation I don't have any idea).

The end drew near with the closing ceremony. Pn Iadah was present and it was done swiftly. And we had to march to receive our souvenir. Later on we learned that Pn Iadah was also having cold feet to keep up with us.

Me, doing useless gestures in an attempt to imitate the real guest of honour who will pass through the kids.

After saying goodbyes to friends, we boarded the bus back to UiTM. We went for an ABC in Seksyen 2 before Pak Utih picked me up and Abang Jack drove me back to Melaka.

I was given a minor role in this camping, and I hoped I can contribute more. Hmm, so much to prove. Till then, cheerios.

A Fresh Change - 2d 1n with Newlyweds

I went to KL last weekend intended to live in solitude while revising first aid theories for the upcoming (plus dreaded) basic first aid exam.

I arrived in Red Crescent Society HQ on Saturday, for we had last-minute preparation before the exam on Sunday. When it was time to part ways in the evening, I asked Abang Zizan to drop me off in the nearest train station. But Kak Zuri and Abang Zizan had other plans for me. They invited me to stay overnight at their crib, thus making me the first person to come to their place amongst friends.

Of course I was feeling troubled at first, all nice guests are, no?xD As soon as we reached their apartment, Kak Zuri went to the kitchen and thawed some chickens she had pre-marinated. I was surprised, does she had premonition that she'll have me staying in her house? after further investigation, it appeared that it's her habit to make ahead dishes for swift cooking. She then cleaned the house while Abang Zizan chatted with me in the living room.

Abang Zizan then drove us to Tesco for some groceries. Abang Zizan said me tagging along feels like bringing a daughter who got amused by how picky her mother chooses veggies. We got home and continued cooking. Kak Zuri made ayam masak lomak cili padi and sayur campor, while Abang Zizan cooked the rice (had to give him the credit for the perfect rice). Oh and one more thing, I didn't have a drop of plain water during my entire stay there, because I was hooked on Abang Zizan's mama's ayer mata kucheng. Forgive me my kidneys.

Earlier, I blabbed to Kak Fiza and Abang Fendi (also a newlywed, same first aid class) that I was staying over at Abang Zizan and Kak Zuri's. Kak Zuri then invited them too, and so they came. So I upgraded myself from the third wheel to the fifth wheel (?) All five of us had a blast really, although it was just dinner and studying. The food were good, really looking forward to have them again.

Some of us shared the same style of memorizing facts. Me and Kak Fiza had to write them to stick them, meanwhile Kak Zuri had to verbally revised them. But Abang Zizan and Abang Fendi fumed me for some reason. They can understand+memorize by just listening to Kak Zuri. Then again, all boys do, no?

I went to bed at 1 am, leaving my comrades revising till the wee hours. Abang Fendi and Kak Fiza burned the midnight oil, something I can't do even during my university years.

Next morning, we left the house at around 8 am, and had our breakfast at Kak Zuri's uncle's roti canai stall. Abang Fendi looked tired on-and-off, while Kak Fiza told me she felt sleepy with a fresh face, no sign of eyebags even. But overall, we were quite excited to pour out all the uploaded info from last night.

Written paper exam started at 10.45 am, and I feel quite happy with myself. I think others do, too. But the real challenge came when the Malay language master, Mr. Pramjit conducted our CPR practical. The pain of finding the exact words to explain our actions: priceless. The practical that started at 2 pm closed its curtain at 6 pm, and not before he started torturing by asking us one by one the definition of conditions in basic first aid treatment, and put it in the simplest but exact sentences thank you.

Personally instead of holding grudge towards him, I felt ashamed of myself. His strictness made me empathized those UiTM's Red Crescent Society kids I used to treat unjustly for their lack of knowledge and experience, and in the same time saw myself as the superior one just because I had the 'senior' title. All of us made a vow not to leak this matter and keep the embarrassing event in our circle, but I just have to write it down so the feeling while keep lingering. As they said it, Melayu mudah lupa~

We had our dinner after that near Abang Sumi's office before we part ways. Abang Fendi and Kak Fiza sent me to the LRT station before Abang Jack picked me up and off to Melaka we went.

In a nutshell, this experienced evoked the good old days feeling, when I was surrounded by friends and we will share laughs all day long. I'm looking forward for the next meeting for a 3d 2n camping in Jugra on February.

Wish you were here, Ms Julie^beth *_*

Today's meals are on us, Momoe

Stepping out from the interview room, I feel the sense of emptiness inside. Partly because of the light breakfast, but also because reflecting of how I carried myself during the session, I might have left a negative impression of myself. And I also learned how unfortunate to be the second candidate. You are summoned before you can pick up anything from the first interviewee, and you had to leave without hearing other people's experience.

The 1st 10 minutes was ice-breaking session, since the interviewers said I looked nervous. I rubbed my palms against each other and I wasn't secreting a single sweat. Yeah, my infamous sweaty palms were out of service that morning. I started losing the will to fight after meeting the other six girls who came for the interview. 5 were fresh out of schools and one was an otai (old timer) from private practice. The following 10 minutes was the realization of me+interviewer on my chronic self-esteem issue, and the final 10 minutes was a consoling session of the interviewers that I was selling myself short, and apart from that, I made a hell of a businesswoman (because talking non-stop is my forte?)

I can't bring myself to tell this to Father, Mama, Auntie Nyah, Kak Rini, Kak Ela and Pak Utih. As soon as the restlessness of keeping a secret strikes me, I felt asleep. Since I arrived home at 3 pm today, I slumbered twice. That's why I was so glad Erol came to visit me after the interview. Erol is already a therapist in PPUM, and he rooted for me to get the job. His eagerness won't affect the outcome actually, but having friends' support really matters in some situations. He brought me for a waffle and latte treat, and walked me to bus stop.

Oh man, now I feel troubled letting down all those people who had high hopes in me. Eyes are shutting down too.

Let's pray for everybody's well-being and peace of mind starting now, Tanaka Koki said that to me, through telepathic course.

Momoe signing out to combat delusions!

A song for the lost soul~ah ha I sounded like a poet!

I PMed a friend residing in Singapore this morning, and he told me how lonely he feels not celebrating Christmas this year with his family back home in Philippines. Freshly out of bed at that time, I said nothing to comfort him. Thinking back, it makes me feel like plucking my eyelashes out of regret.

So I tried looking around (browsing my .avi, not the internet) for any emphatic Christmas song, in an attempt to make his Christmas a bit better, if not worse. I had this really beautiful Christmas song, sung by a Japanese group KAT-TUN. Secretly I feel proud of myself, but I was left dumbfounded when I read the translation. The song is actually about lovers going separate ways, but still hoping to rekindle.

Please forgive me with the spirit of festive season.

White X'mas by KAT-TUN

Aidil Adha@Penang

Heh not a conventional move, but I did celebrate Aidil Adha in Penang, along with Ms Designer. The initial idea was accompanying her beraya di perantauan for the first time, but in the same time I met a new friend and rekindling an old flame. Haha flame my foot. Rekindling an old friendship, a friend I haven't see for three full years.

On Monday from hometown Melaka, I took the bus to KL, staying there for a night at Nyah's (my auntie) house. The journey to the north started the next day, where I jumped on the bus to Penang and numbed my bottom for four-and-a-half hours. Truth to be told, the bus ride was very comfortable. I had my sweater on and the girl beside me was petite, I can sit in the middle of our seats without her complaining.

Arriving in Sungai Nibong bus station, Nyah and Dila's mutual friend, Kak Renee picked me up. For an innocent, lost soul like me, Kak Renee sure is my benefactor during my stay here. We went for lunch at E-Gate, an area near Queensbay where all I can see were restaurants, hungry people and promotional buntings of each and every restaurants. We sat there for nearly two hours, eating noodles while establishing rapport. I was taken aback on how well-informed Kak Renee of my life. It was refreshing to hear what other people have to say about me and my family haha.

She then drove us to USM, where we meet Ms Designer or Ms I(nterior)D, for a sophisticated feel. Ms ID just finished her last paper for the semester. We fetched her and her friend from their exam hall named Hamzah Sendut (the name will cling tightly in my frontal lobe for the rest of my life) and off we go to Queensbay Mall. Had our dinner there, speculated whether J.Co's waiter is a gay, brushed off a taxi driver who wanted RM20 for a ride back to USM, finally we arrived at Ms ID's college by the love and car/care of Kak Renee. Settling down for the night, I never knew that was the last time I'll see Ms ID's friend, even though we stayed two rooms apart. Misteri..

The next day was Aidil Adha. I was surprised from slumber by the vicious, never ending bell ring of the college. At 4 am. I woke up, watching Ms ID still calmly sleeping on the opposite bed. She told me to sleep of the faulty alarm. It was like tinnitus, but my sleepy head is well, headstrong. But I was soon awake again from the Takbir. Father's face appeared in my head, and I spent 5 minutes imagining a typical morning raya before resuming my sleep. Hey don't judge me, I'm a woman blessed with ABC (Allah Bagi Cuti).

At 9.30 am, we went out for breakfast with Kak Renee. She then sent us to Gurney Plaza. Me and Ms ID drooled our time off watching Chris Pine in Unstoppable, a true story of a runaway train in North/South (short term memory wasn't functioning well) Pennsylvania. I then called my friend, Ir hoping to meet her there. But I should know better that Hari Raya means family gathering, but as a well-known thick-skinned person, I kept on texting her. Gimme a break, we haven't see each other for 3 years. She picked us up from Gurney Plaza and brought us to her Nana's home in Kampung Harriot (silence the t, so it sounds French).

We had our lunch there, and of course trading stories of our fellow ex-classmates. Ir had some rough moments, but she's doing superb now. It was mesmerizing to see how beautiful her family members were (does it sounds creepy?sorry for the lack of self-control). Meeting Ir was also refreshing, and I would love to meet her again in the near future.

She later drove us back to USM, at around 4 pm. Ms ID and I were happy, satisfied, full and sleepy. We did some packing up, drooling (again?) while watching Mizushima Hiro and talking about our future. InsyaAllah all our effort up to this point will not be in vain. InsyaAllah, insyaAllah.

This morning, Ms ID went off to her driving school. She'll be tested by JPJ to get her P license. Me? I'm left in her room, doing minor packing (lie) so by the time she's finished, we can get ready to board the bus back to KL.

Signing off. Have to pack Ms ID's lappy now.